Monday, December 22, 2008

Pithiness, Aphorisms and other adages

Just wanted to comment- that after weeks of me saying no one reads these entries- last week (ending 20 December) was the most-read week I've had in about 13 months or so- well over 100 views on MySpace- no idea what the Blogger readership is

Anyhow- there was one bit of criticism for the new entry ("It's that time of year....."- 18 December)- the supposedly sheer verbosity of it- The reader who actually got me started on these bleatings a couple years ago suggested I exercise a bit of brevity here - and more alcohol-fueled postings- not tonight, though- kind of groggy from nodding off waiting for "Monday Night Football" and actually have to be sort of useful tomorrow and do a few errands and drive back to New Jersey for the big holiday later this week

In the spirit of brevity- I will offer a grouping of short thoughts- a la the late, unlamented Larry King column from USA Today- with some degree of coherence

-Nothing says "douchebag" like the silhouette view of someone wearing a cap sideways

-I don't have to say the storm coverage here was stupidly over the top on the local news- like footage of the guy carrying 6 gallons of milk out a store- but tonight saw the story of the teenagers who fell through ice on a pond in Natick and wondered why they or any other fool who had been through a similar calamity sit down with reporters to tell their story of foolishness- I reiterated to someone over the weekend- that the worst way to die must be the one that give you a minute or so to think "What was I thinking?" or "That wasn't such a good idea"

-Have any of the supposed "entertainers" launched from YouTube videos gone onto anything yet?

Whenever I see the phrase "Check out my YouTube videos! Just like (fill in the blank of show name- "SNL", "The Office" etc.)" I know not only are they not just like the shows they're attempting to ape, but are whatever the polar opposites of either entertainment or mere spectacle could ever be defined as- and will bring me less internet joy than photos of Baby Mangino (of Deadspin fame- an infant dressed up like obese Univerity of Kansas football coach Mark Mangino) or 20-plus year old Heart videos where they try to obscure the weight gain of the larger Wilson sister

-The video games "Guitar Hero" and "Rock Band" are perhaps the largest impediments to peaceful apartment living that I could not have foreseen even 4-5 years ago
Combining the loudness of a regular video game/ the playing of loud music/ an amplified instrument with the pounding of the plastic drum kit are things I didn't think of back when I used to complain about lax snow-shoveling, parking and general old-school nuisances prior to a few months ago

-Speaking of those games- I cannot be the only one who sees the "Guitar Hero" ad featuring Kobe Bryant dancing around in his underwear and thinks "Colorado hotel room incident" every time I see it

Would be sort of akin to seeing a Kennedy family member in a "celebrity" ski race- Oh, wait- I did see that - Sunday (21 December)- when the snow and ice were affecting my friend's satellite dish reception and were forced to wait for the begining of the Jets-Seahawks game on CBS- and saw RFK's daughter Kerry Kennedy (nee Cuomo)

Aside from Julia Louis-Dreyfus- the biggest "celebs" on the bill for that were Spencer and Heidi from "The Hills"- a show and people I've heard an exponentionally wild amount of/ about- that I'm still almost completely incognizant of/ about

Anyhow- if this sucked- blame the lack of sauce and the self-enforced format- Enjoy the holidays

Thursday, December 18, 2008

It's that time of year.....

No- not "The Most Wonderful" as that old song would have one believe-

For me, personally- the "Most Wonderful Time of the Year" would probably be the opening day of NFL season, or something like that- Not saying this is the worst time of the year- but, as I've previously stated the last couple years- the 13 days between my birthday, Christmas and New Year's Eve/ Day are hardly the greatest of the year, either- there's no particular bad story/ painful family memory/ whatever behind it- Yeah- I have the literal "two gloves, one for your birthday, one for Christmas" story for the season from a family friend when I turned 13, the fact the Cartoon Network's "Adult Swim" has quantified the day before my birthday (19 December) as the "height of holiday spirit" (due to some sort of promotion for a programming marathon) and others- But, to some degree, I've grown to appreciate a birthday that flies under the radar- No big deal about it most years- no fake spectacle or any of that type shit

But, I digress- the "time of year" I refer to is the Work Holiday Party Season- which had its '08-09 personal debut for me Wednesday night at the site I work at (as part of a contractor deal)- There was a short stretch where tonight's mirth was supposedly canceled- along with the actual company party for the one I'm on the payroll for that was 86'ed last summer - But, as luck would have it- the actual worksite party was re-instated and held 17 December and the payroll one has been tentatively put back on the docket for some point in January- though the silence since the initial announcement of the festivities - and lack of follow-up on announced fundraising/ shakedown from certain members of the organization for it- has led some (most) to think (hope) the company party may still be mothballed

I think the most current metamorphisis of the Work Holiday Party seems to have been borne out of Soviet-era Russia or whatever countries were held sway under the old communist bloc- Rules translated from Russian, German or Polish like "You may have as much fun as possible- but only 3 drinks from the coupons we provided - No more!"- a good idea for some- especially since I've worked long enough at my place to recall the year when one guy brought the Colombian equivalent of moonshine to a crowd that seemed more out to get wasted on the company dime than have a good time- That particular year- I was personally stunned- when I went to work the next day with the shame of thinking I was one of the worst drunks the night before- drank a lot and must have accidentally ingested something I was allergic to or whatever- found out I would have been no better than 7th or 8th on a Top 10 list of such- had it been officially compiled

Anyhow- aside from a couple consecutive years I imbibed- about 4-5 years back now- I've either gone totally straight-edge or nearly so (no more than a beer or two) during the worksite party- seems to make no difference- I'm just as miserable after two drinks in some settings as I'd be with zero or twenty- especially since I've actually been working all the years I've cited- sauce or not- Days like today (17 December) where I'd be miserable if it was a regular other-51-weeks-of-the-year-Wednesday without the festivities of my cohorts at work

I was in a rather miserable mood throughout tonight's festivities- just not in a great mood in general- aside from extra work involved for the work bacchanaila- Had back-to-back-to-back piss-poor rides to/ from work- that included usual unbelievably late-season Boston-area road/ utility work, me actually flipping someone off on the highway- I usually shy away from that- always think of the LA freeway shootings of 20 years ago or so- did it after some guy flipped me off when I thought the 'Yield' sign he blew past to almost side-swipe me as I was in travel lane- applied to him- I slowed down to drive next to them to do it back to him as I exited a bit down the road- went home during 2-3 inch December snow that seemed to confound local drivers/ snow-removal efforts- then was followed-up with today's trip- where I was so nearly T-boned while making a left turn Wednesday afternoon- I had to pull onto the sidewalk of the intersection I was at- after having what seemed like the optical illusion of something still coming towards me when it shouldn't be- being piloted by someone on a fucking cell phone- great time

In conclusion, I hope not to repeat last year's experience where I was at about 4 work galas- between the company I work for and the places I've worked at- I also hope nothing will top last year's tiara-wearing ersatz high-school prom court from one of them- still one of the more unbelievable things I've seen that did not instigate some sort of class conflict or some sort of chair-throwing incident

Random Thoughts
-No one under 35 has a good or logical reason to ever listen to the Eagles of their own volition- I was 6 when "Hotel California" came out and older brothers/ sisters owned it- and I still side with the Dude (from "The Big Lebowski") and "hate the fucking Eagles" as the Dude says- heard some younger people blasting it recently and could not believe it- not cool by any measure- though I shudder to think they could be the "next Journey" among the young people- another band I hated when they were current and became sort of nostalgia act

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

A place with cardboard urinals and the streets paved with sand...

...Or sleep problems and amateur dream self-analysis

I haven't been sleeping well lately- the last week or so- Began with a day off from work that started under a small cloud of uncertainty- went from being off, to taking the hours, to having them cut, to deciding I'd take the day off and start using vacation time- but wasn't 100% that was the resolution until I woke up that day at the time I would've needed to be getting ready for work

Got word I had day off early on- but ended up staying up for a bit- dozed off during an early-afternoon showing of Mike Judge's "Office Space" on one of the HBO's- Won't misapply the term of irony to it- as seems to be the wont of most- but will call it a reasonably self-satisfying way to nod off on a weekday afternoon where you're getting paid one way or the other

Anyhow- the short sleep the night before and afternoon nap set a pattern for the next day or so where I could sleep in 3-4 hour nap-length shifts- but not for longer- led to me being up at odd times all day into Saturday- when I finally broke the odd shifts- but still fell asleep earlier than usual that night and the next- though the Redskins-Ravens "Sunday Night Football" contest was a yawnfest by any football-viewing measure

The last few nights since- I've been plagued by weird dreams- each night has seemed to serve up ones weirder than their predecessors- starting with one where I was walking down the street looking for the newspaper- in a city where the streets were all-sand- cars were sliding all over the place and up on the sidewalks- but slowly enough for pedestrians like myself to make "Matrix"-style escapes from them as they came up into my path

The next night featured a usual theme for me at the outset- me living in the shitty/ a shittier version of the shitty apartment (OK, it wasn't that squalid- just an overall odd experience) I had while living out some sort of life lesson in Los Angeles about a decade ago- I got word that I was to fly to New York and meet someone who could change things for me- but I proceeded to get lost navigating the many bridges that cross the numerous waterways of the city of my birth

Finally- the most quirky of the chin-scratchers to me- A dream last night (Tue/ Wed) where I had the breakthrough invention of cardboard, self-contained public urinals- the solution to the urban blight of public urination/ the age-old reason of such- the overwhelming need to go- these were placed all over and apparently made me a hero to urban planners or whomever- Don't ask how the dream me created or executed the plan- the dream only covered my post-invention life of acclaim and seeing them all over the place- Not even sure if my dream self got rich from that idea

Needless to say- I could use a good night's sleep, less candy and/ or Doritos before bedtime and the hope the frosty beverages I'm enjoying as I write this will lead to a reduction/ eradication of the dreams and preceding sleep problems from the past week- of course, last Wednesday night's icy alcohol-filled refreshment led to a handful of dumb Facebook messages/ friend requests to a few people- and I'll be looking to avoid that outcome tonight as well

-Speaking of internet-based embarrassment- This is the first attempt I'm making to have both this and my MySpace blog melded content-wise- only about 4 months or so after initially threatened it

-Today presented another example of the crazy-go-nuts businesspeople I encounter at my job on a regular basis (as I've previously documented on MySpace)- Was pulling up power drops from an exhibit area as a couple folks were discussing going to the bar and having a few drinks- One guy asks about an absent cohort- "Does (so-and-so) like to tie one off?"- I had to restrain myself from bursting out laughing at the misappropriation of either drinking/ drug slang- I'm sure the guy has no idea whatsoever that "tie one on" is the correct booze lingo- while "tie one off" is associated with hardcore drugs (I'll let whatever readership there is between the attempted 2 homes of this blog figure it out for themselves)

-Not sure of what to make of NBC's idea to move Jay Leno to 10PM next fall- from his "Tonight Show" slot of 11:35- that he's abdicating to Conan O'Brien

On one hand- "The Tonight Show" is "The Tonight Show" and O'Brien will be occupying the mantle previously held by Steverino, Paar and Johnny- But on the other, Leno will be in the important prime-time block- and potentially more valuable to NBC than O'Brien's 11:35 start -or waaaaaaay more important than Jimmy Fallon's impending assumption of the "Late Night" franchise in '09 as well- will be interesting to see how it plays out

-Had an interesting ethical moment on way back from work tonight- been opting to drive through Davis Square itself- instead of its fringes- recent nights- figured as long as it was late enough to be too early/ too late for bars closing in area- Anyhow- driving through- I see what appears to be the general visage of a friend's girlfriend who appeared to be waiting on sidewalk- she has seen my car in past- and I thought of pulling up to offer ride/ assistance to the young lady if she needed it- but then thought- What if my initial look was wrong? Now I've pulled up to some girl who has no idea of this guy who creepily pulled up to her after midnight- Something that would have been embarrassing in the least and an inadvertant enticement for the attention of law enforcement in the reasonable realm of the worst- So, not to be an asshole- I kept going and went home

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Between the sites 2- Blogeriffic

I will at some point figure out how to post my lightly-read MySpace shit here via word document -when I fully grasp the cut-and-paste idea on the computer box- I really have kind of a retard-strength-level knowledge of the computer and its workings at this point- I can fix shit that no one else knows- but alternately have no real idea why/ how it worked at that point

As far as my feelings on the social sites go- Facebook continues to me as a nightmare portal to most of the people I went to high school with and the school itself (which has some sort of supposed Facebook presence on its own)- I, myself made it worse the other night (Wednesday, vodka drinking) by scattering an assortment of stupid questions- the worst of which was to a friend of mine about his mother who hates me and hasn't spoken to me since I ruined her garage sale over 18 years ago- though probably I also raised her ire by accidentally using the 'c' word in a conversation with her months earlier- while visiting her house with another friend of mine- while my friend was thousands of miles away on another continent- yeah, nothing happened- but outrage and years-long emnity on both counts- I assume

Anyhow- I don't know whether I should meld together all the various internet exchanges here- or keep them mutually exclusive- I'm sure the end result will be the same for me in all venues

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Between the two social sites

Good Lord- between the time I've wasted on MySpace the almost 3 years for me there and the recent past shit I've seen on Facebook- surprised there haven't been more Facebook-related suicides- not due to any current or past coercion- but just due to whatever past is out there I'm encountering now on both sites

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Ice Cream Season is Over

It's been almost two months since I threatened to return to this- Have had some rather major computer issues and had to keep forging ahead on the MySpace blog- which I'm still updating

When I fully get my bearings on this machine- I shall return with new/ pasted content that apparently no one is waiting for

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Watch this space

I'll probably make the jump here in coming days- No one reads my shit on MySpace- So, I'm not expecting much different here- but have grown tired of the format over there