El Emparedado de Muerte '09

Just figured that "The Sandwich of Death" sounded a little cooler or better-embellished in Spanish or any other language than it does in plain, old English

The other day- I had another March brush with death during a sandwich I was consuming at work- last year it was a pre-St. Patrick's Day corned beef sandwich- as documented on my MySpace blog ("Fat is not to be had without labour" 15 March 2008)- This year it would have been a tad more ironic, as I spent part of my Wednesday afternoon (4 March) recounting the story of last March's choking incident - where I was trying to eat corned-beef that was about as tender, succulent or digestable as a dry-rotted baseball mitt and almost choked on it while taking a huge bite out of it- to the guy I work with

An hour or so later- we decide to get dinner- Both of us having Turkey Club sandwiches- While I was in the midst of a more-than-likely pointless anecdote about something else that previously occurred at my job- I also took a bite of my sandwich- which proceeded to go down the wrong pipe- was gasping for a minute or so- but was able to regain my breath after a second- just had momentary trouble talking for a few minutes after

Was really more embarrassed than anything else- especially due to the irony of me discussing a previous similar incident shortly beforehand- as I've stated previously, I'd hate to go out in some sort of ironic manner that would provide me with a moment or two to think how stupid I was as the coda of my worldly thoughts- At the very least- this will serve as reminder to steer clear of the corned beef at next weekend's renewal of the washer and dryer show at work

-I've also written about my various grievances with neighbors- at past and present abodes- All I have to say about my current upstairs neighbor- is the fact they don't appear to be drug dealers or meth makers with regular 3:30 AM visitors who take my parking spot or box my car into it- is pretty much all that's separating them from vaulting to "Worst Ever"-level or being some sort of hybrid of the worst of my decade-ago Los Angeles neighbors- sans contretemps over snow removal or me regularly taking drug tests for them

The last couple weeks- I've reached my breaking point with the loud electric guitar-playing neighbor upstairs from me after 6 months of them feeling free to treat this residence as a home studio, rehearsal space college dorm room at most hours of the day- I've alluded to this issue before here- person seems to feel them playing jazz or blues guitar music loudly and directly above me- doesn't make it egregious as say, rock, rap or Nordic black metal- Yet to me- not being hear the TV from 8 feet away without turning it up to triple the usual volume- makes it pretty much all the same to me

I've taken to the passive/ aggressive act of pounding on the ceiling- Was on the receiving end of it years ago in Watertown from a sensitive neighbor that expected me to levitate around my place after sundown- would pound and go press buzzer for apartment if I merely got off couch to take a leak- have resorted to that because the level of rage the loud music engenders in me makes a door-knocking face-to-face complaint inadvisable- since when I'm annoyed by it or merely "mildly angry" its not enough to make me go up there- and when I'm truly annoyed- the ceiling is probably the least worst thing I could be delivering a clenched fist or some F-bombs at- Oh well, another neighbor here who's going to classify me as an asshole (as happened a few months into my run here)- Good thing I didn't move here to make friends

Tonight- I practically punched a hole in the ceiling when I got back from work- the guy stopped his guitar noodling after 3 songs- but I'm not sure how it progresses from here- and I have the spring and summer to look forward to- when the windows will all be open around here and this individual will no doubt lack the self-awareness / consideration of others that would lead them to be any quieter at that point than they are now- Another reason to view the end of winter and warmer weather as little more than a tradeoff of one set of problems for another

-Speaking of being irked within the confines of my abode- got my March cable/ internet bill the other day- was kind of shocked to see it about $90 more from one month to the other- turns out only $30 of that was for March itself- the other $60 or so was to cover them supposedly undercharging me in January and February for services- this from a utility (at least I view cable and internet that way) company that forces customers to pay in advance for services not yet rendered

Turns out- the one-year promotional period for my DVR, HBO's and HD channels (even though I still have an SD set) ended in January- the cable company raised my bill- but not as accordingly as they deemed (or as I initially suspected they would) and I was retroactively socked this month for it- Always pisses me off that a company that wouldn't think twice about cutting my service or at least threatening to do so- if I paid my for my proactively-billed services in even a relatively retroactive manner- is rather nonchalant about aggressively trying to bill me in a retroactive manner

Has me thinking about dumping the HBO's- the new "Eastbound and Down" show hasn't caught my fancy, never got into "Flight of the Conchords" and my next by-rote viewing of new "Entourage" episodes wouldn't be happening until July- though I do enjoy boxing, 11AM unedited weekday airings of "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" or "The Blues Brothers" and watching old "Sopranos", "Wire" and "Curb Your Enthusiasm" episodes on-demand and will probably wait until the supposed April resolution of NFL Network carriage on Comcast before I make any moves on my TV packages

-Speaking of TV- Have seen 3 of the 4 episodes (to this point) of "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon"- Wednesday night's DVR of it was ruined by an in-show Emergency Broadcast System transmission from the aforementioned cable company and no audio when show returned- so I missed the highlight of Fallon dancing around with Cameron Diaz

Fallon was remarkably nervous on his debut night Monday (2 March)- even compared to a novice Conan O'Brien during his 1993 debut in the same slot- and especially for someone who spent 6 years being on "Saturday Night Live"- the opening show seemed rather rushed, had a predictably dull Robert DeNiro as opening guest and an interview with Justin Timberlake that plumbed Chevy Chase-like depths in the opening-night "Remember when?" session with a showbiz chum

I also think the blatant "Price is Right"-level product placement in the show- Sharp Electronics in particular- will undercut whatever edge there is to the comedic chops of the show and reduces it to about the level of the 1986 flop entertainment/ home-shopping "VTV" show- without Richard Simmons and a washed-up soap actress (Constance Towers)

I guess I'll give the Fallon show time- O'Brien was rather brutal in the early going- but early shows had a glimmer of what was to be for his franchise- viewers can only hope that Fallon's nervousness and The Roots as his house band aren't the only calling cards of this version of "Late Night"